PERSPECTIVE
Yesterday, July 19th marked my three year anniversary in New York. I have shared stories amassed on this journey on this blog. To move and leave everyone I loved for New York was a bold move and three years later, here we are. Time flies so fast.
New York City has always been a dream come true and there is no special feeling than waking up to all the noise and chaos. I was having dinner and drinks with a close friend last night who has been living in New York City for 15 years. We talked about how we each get wowed like all the time! We talked about our journeys and shared life stories while dining al fresco. The best way to enjoy a beautiful summer day. As we were walking towards the subway, we stopped and looked at each other – we live here, crazy right? I still take photos of everything.
On July 19th 2015 in the wee hours of the morning, my brothers' Kim and Wesh rode with me on 95 North towards New York. They helped me move in, unpacked my stuff, and they headed out. It was a special day for me. The beginning of everything in the city. I forever miss my brother Kim dubbing me Miss New York. I think he was so excited about the trip more than I was and him getting me to New York City is something I forever cherish. Getting settled in the first few months was rough. I had days I would cry myself to sleep. No job prospects. Like nothing! Just mad interviews and no call back. Yes, I am one of those crazy people who move to a new city, with no job, and only savings in the account which started running out pretty fast. I remember focusing on why I was NOT getting jobs.
The more I focused on why I was NOT getting anything, the more doors seemed to be shutting for me. I was talking to my mum at one point and she mentioned, whatever’s yours is yours. It will come to you.
Perhaps that was the aha moment I needed – and it changed the way I looked at things.
Rather than focus on what is NOT for me or what has already passed, focus on what is to come. What is already mine. Arms ready and all to receive. To be honest that mind set was something I had to work on every morning, almost as if to convince myself and my brain. It’s so easy to dwell on the negative, and whine and grumble. The positive thoughts , kumbaya – zen moments are tough especially when things are not looking up! But it had to be done.
About 8 weeks later - and a barley there savings account - I nabbed a couple of gigs. Started a new job and I swear I could hear my friends and family taking a sigh of relief.
Over the years there has been a couple of internships, frustrations, more jobs, more training, some more frustrations, more opportunities to learn and grow. I have gotten out of my comfort zone, gotten used to being so uncomfortable that I just kept going with it. At the back of my mind, I always remembered what’s meant for me is already mine. I just have to claim it. That’s how the universe works.
When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. If I had focused on the many doors closing in my face and frustrations, and not the many opportunities that were available to me. I would have thrown my hands up in frustration and headed back home to my family in Maryland. I can’t tell you how grateful I am to my family and friends how have been sooo supportive. My 4am people who I can call when things go to shits. There have been plenty of those and a lot of tears.
I hope you have 4am people around you. The ones who will listen, laugh, cry, and root for you even on your worst days.
So back to perspective, it is everything. Be open to opportunities, take risks, and change your perspective. You can either see it as NOWHERE or NOW HERE… it’s how you view it. :)
PHOTOGRAPHY: JESS CURLDERON
The yellow low heeled sandal mules are a fave. I can wear them with anything. They are so comfy to walk in and give you that much needed pop of color.
Dress: Nordstrom
Sandals: Express
Earrings: HM
Maasai Bracelets: Maasai Market
